Why the Mom’s Code?

x. She’s Still in There

Our mate’s lenses see us as women first. When I met my husband, we were both working for GE in Europe. It was a romantic time for us and we got to travel cheaply and see so many places. He remembers that person even when I forget about her. He still characterizes my personality as carefree, even as I stress and try to balance working and raising four kids. I am carefree, it just gets buried a lot. We need to use our mates as mirrors sometimes to see ourselves through their eyes. They don’t always get how much we do, but many times, they have a deep appreciation of who we are.

Does your mate still make you feel sexy?


Do you have date nights so you can dress up, go out, and reconnect?


Do you hold back from your mate because you think you need to lose weight, or get fit, or something else?


Do you stay out of family photos until you look better?


Do you still take pictures with your husband?


I get really excited to dress up and have a date with my husband. It helps me remember when I felt sexy—and I feel sexy again.

– Kate

My husband still sees me as the carefree, pretty photographer I was when he met me. That’s invaluable, as I sometimes forget she exists.

– Jaime