Why the Mom’s Code?

iii. I Admit It—the Pressure Gets to Me

I love my children and try to ensure they never go to sleep anxious or insecure. I root for their success and die a small death every time something does not go their way. I know intellectually that I should back off a little and let them experience the ups and downs so they can cope later and learn to be responsible for their own actions and decisions. Everyone needs to overcome obstacles so they can handle situations that arise in ‘real’ life—but when I see other mothers tutoring their kids, doing their homework, getting overinvolved with teachers and coaches, and giving up everything they are as a person to live their kid’s lives for them, I worry I can’t step back or my children will fall behind. When I hear about someone’s perfect child, a vision of my kids blundering around arises and I silently panic and blame myself for not having done more. I fear I’m not good enough to stack up in the modern mom world. Then I start pushing them to work, work, work so they can reach some illusive measure named ‘their full potential.’

Are you afraid that if you back off, your child won't have as many advantages as others' children?


Do you think modern moms are too involved in running their children's lives?


Do you feel pressure to try and raise a "perfect" child?


Are you afraid to allow your child to make a mistake?


Do you find yourself jumping in to save your children from mistakes, even when you feel they need to make them?


The competition on vacations, school, and kid’s activities is pounding and exhausting.

– Kathleen

I volunteered to be a parent helper for a robotics team. The parents were so overbearing and competitive, I’m not sure any group’s output reflected the children’s abilities.

– Joanne