Why the Mom’s Code?

vi. We’re All OK, But...

Every mom I know is more than good enough. They love their children and are doing their best, but issues and doubts begin to arise when they compare their parenting skills to others or are forced to listen to judgmental hens (or a monster-in-law) clucking away with foolproof, time-tested parenting advice, especially when these hens seem to have perfect chicks tucked safely away in an immaculate golden coop. For many moms, it is hard not to view their children as a direct reflection of themselves and their parenting skills. In the super-competitive contest of “Best Mom,” feelings of inadequacy often lead to bad behavior, and “bad sportsmomship” takes over.

Do you feel pressure to appear as though everything is good and under control, to everyone, all the time?


Do you sometimes worry that your kids aren't measuring up?


Is there someone around you who offers unwanted parenting advice, or undermines how you parent?


I’m overwhelmed by housework and laundry, but I still clean up the house when the cleaning lady is coming so she won’t think I’m lazy or a slob.

– Alana

I have a cleaning lady and I keep it a secret so most people think I’m a fabulous cleaner. Even my husband doesn’t know.

– Kathy