Why the Mom’s Code?
A few years ago, my husband and I moved to Seoul, South Korea with our four young children. I looked forward to a grand adventure, but felt as though I was continuously colliding into invisible walls of cultural differences. I wasn’t allowed to be myself and had difficulty making friends. My identity seemed to be totally tied to who my husband was and the relative importance of his role, which left me feeling insignificant and insecure. On the surface, everything looked great—nice home, cute kids, happy marriage, but most nights, I was very sad and lonely. During the day, I played my happy role for my children’s sake, but when I let my defenses down after they went to sleep, I felt utterly overwhelmed, empty and stranded.
I imagined myself as a modern day Anna in the Siamese palace.
My friend was so stressed out, she yelled at her five-year-old for coloring outside of the lines. When she apologized, her daughter said, “It’s okay, Mommy. You just need some wine.”